Surrendering to Us Read online

  “Rory? Lion. Grrrr,” Fiona said, turning her hands into claws and throwing herself at me. I caught her and she kept growling and trying to claw me. I tried tickling her sides, and that seemed to work as she collapsed and giggled while Gracie slid from one end of the room to the other in my shoes.

  “I don’t think you’re getting them back,” Lucah said.

  “I have other pairs.”

  “Rory?” Gracie said, skating past us.

  “Yes?”

  “Do you do sex?” For a second, I thought I’d misheard her sweet voice.

  “What did you say?” She stopped skating and faced me, her hands on her hips.

  “Do you do sex?” I looked at Lucah and I could tell he was trying not to laugh. I had no idea what to say.

  “Um, I think that’s something that we should talk to Mommy and Daddy about, okay?” Lucah said, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. My shoes dropped to the floor. I stood up and put them on and Fiona held her hands up.

  “Uppy, uppy.” I lifted her up and settled her on one hip. God, she was a lot heavier than she looked. Were children more dense or something? Maybe it was the candy and the cookies.

  We took the girls downstairs and Lucah whispered in April’s ear what Gracie had said. Her eyes went wide and she looked mortified.

  “I am so sorry. She asked about where babies come from last week, so we’ve been talking about that kind of thing. We wanted to give her the right terminology and so forth. I am so, so sorry.” I glanced at Lucah and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

  I lost it. Holding onto my knees and gasping, tears running down my face kind of laughing. The kind of laughing where you feel like you’ve gotten a workout. What made it even worse was Gracie hopping around asking, “What so funny?” Lucah laughed with me and eventually Tate and April joined in and a chuckle was had by all.

  After we recovered, April took the girls (kicking and screaming) upstairs for their very overdue nap, and I was left with the Blythe men.

  “So I know he’s going to kill me for it, but I’m guessing you’ve never seen any pictures of Lucah growing up, and I just happen to have some.” He walked back into the living room and pulled an album off a high shelf in the hutch next to the television.

  “I haven’t, actually,” I said, looking at Lucah. He’d tensed up again. What was it about his childhood that he didn’t want me to see? I knew he’d been poor. Why would seeing pictures make any difference?

  “You knew I had to do this,” Tate said to Lucah, who was silently fuming. “Mom and Dad would have done it, if they were here.” At the mention of his parents, the room got really quiet and still. Tate cleared his throat and turned to the first page of pictures.

  There he was. My Lucah Blythe, boyish, with that out of control hair and those lovely eyes. He smiled up at me (sometimes missing a front tooth or two) from each picture. Christmas, birthdays, first day of school, here he was. His whole history that I hadn’t been a part of.

  I sat on the couch and kept turning the pages. There were a few of him cuddling with his mother, and fishing with his father. A hand stopped me from turning to the next page. Lucah sat down next to me and stared at the pictures.

  He got his hair from his mother. She had the kind of beauty that was timeless. Curvy and with a face that looked like it was pulled from a skincare ad. His father was built like him, with a ruddy complexion and Lucah’s sideways (and cocky) smile.

  A tear fell from my eyes and dropped onto the album. I wiped it away, but another one was right behind it. I turned to look at Lucah and he was crying too.

  His childhood had been a poor one, moneywise, but the love that radiated from his grinning face in every picture made my heart twist. Tate and April had left the room, so it was just the two of us.

  I put the album on the coffee table and leaned into Lucah and he put his arms around me. I cried, and he cried and our tears mixed together and fell on our laps. Neither of us said a word, but sometimes, you didn’t need words. You just had to let yourself feel.

  “I love you,” I said, holding his face like he so often held mine. “I love you so much.” His eyes were red and swollen, but in that moment he was so beautiful.

  “I love you, too.” He pulled me forward and our lips met for a wet and salty kiss. But his lips were sweet and warm as they moved with mine.

  “Thank you for letting me see this,” I whispered as I broke the kiss. “Thank you for letting me in.”

  “I didn’t want to. You tricked me, Sunshine.” He tweaked my nose and wiped my eyes with his thumbs and then I did the same for him.

  “I didn’t know I was going to need tissues for this visit,” I said getting up and going to get my purse from the table in the foyer. I knew I had a pack of tissues in there somewhere. I fished through until I found them and then Lucah and I blew our noses at the same time. Tate cleared his throat from the back of the room and Lucah and I both turned.

  “Sorry about that. I wasn’t thinking,” he said as April peered at us from behind him.

  “It’s okay,” Lucah said. “I’ve got to face it, and get used to it. Do you think I could take some of those with me?”

  “We can do you one better.” Tate nudged April and she brought out another album, which turned out to be identical to the first.

  “We had the negatives, so we had copies made. I’ve been holding onto them for a while because I knew you were going to want them eventually.” Lucah took the album and brushed some dust off the cover.

  “Thanks, Tate.” He got up and they hugged, which I could tell wasn’t a common occurrence.

  “I have one for Ryder too, if he ever gets his head out of his ass. What’s he up to now?” Lucah let out a long sigh and set the album down.

  “He’s . . . I have no idea where he’s working, but he has an apartment, if you could call it that.”

  “Is he still doing drugs?”

  “He seems lucid when I see him, and he doesn’t seem high, but I really don’t know. I’m doing my best, but he’s twenty-three years old. And I’m not Mom or Dad.”

  Tate just shook his head and April patted his shoulder.

  “I feel like I should do something, but I just know it would blow up in my face,” Tate said, his face pinched with stress. “I’d give him money if I knew he wasn’t going to spend it on drugs, or some other stupid thing. I don’t know what to do.” We all stood there in stumped silence until a little voice called “Momma!” from upstairs.

  “Duty calls,” April said, heading for the stairs.

  “You did amazing. I knew you would,” Lucah said as we pulled out of the driveway and waved good-bye to Tate, April and the girls. I was absolutely exhausted. Kids were tiring.

  “It was pretty awkward there at the beginning.” I grabbed another chocolate-covered potato chip and munched on it. It was nearly dinnertime, and I hoped I could convince him to stop somewhere so we could eat. Or at least go through a drive-through.

  “No it wasn’t. You’re crazy.”

  “Uh, it definitely was. I don’t know what you saw, but there was plenty of awkward going on.” He shook his head and slowed down to a crawl through the neighborhood.

  “You were great with the girls. I’m pretty sure you are the princess now.”

  I pointed at him with a chip in my hand. “Damn right. I’m the fucking princess. And don’t you forget it. Wow, it feels good to curse without worrying about ruining impressionable minds.”

  “Once again, you’re ridiculous.” He grabbed the chip and chomped on it. “I’m starving. Do you mind if we stop somewhere?” If I could have hugged him, I would have.

  “I love you.”

  “I know.”

  When we got back (after stopping at Five Guys Burgers), Sloane was waiting in our apartment, sitting on the couch as if perched atop a throne. Hadn’t we just talked about this? And hadn’t she promised to stop doing this?

  “Hey Mr. Ginger, Mrs. Ginger.” Oh, I was “Mrs. Ginger” now. I l
iked the sound of that.

  “Hi, Miss Intruder,” I said, dropping my bag. Lucah was carrying the bags of candy and some extra burgers and fries from Five Guys. You could never have too much Five Guys in your house.

  “How was it?” she said, getting up. “Oohh, what did you bring me?”

  “Nothing until we talk about boundaries again. I thought you were going to stop popping in whenever you wanted.” I snatched the bag from Lucah and held it behind my back so she couldn’t get to it.

  “I was watching your valuables and keeping them safe from burglars. So really, you should be thanking me.”

  “Are you fucking serious?”

  “Not really. What did you bring me?” She was worse than Gracie and Fiona, but I thought I’d found the source of her constant pop-ins. Sloane was lonely and she missed me. I couldn’t fault her for that.

  I missed having her around too, even though I loved living with Lucah. There was something about living with your best girlfriend that was completely different than living with your boyfriend. I still wanted to impress him, and keep him under the illusion that I never do things like fart, or clip my toenails. I didn’t have to do that with Sloane.

  “Well, we stopped and got some candy for the girls, so we brought you some mango jellybeans and some fancy chocolate that is up to your exacting standards.” She took the bag and skipped a little.

  “You are the bestest friend ever!” She squealed and I got a strangling hug. It was kind of like Gracie and Fiona when I’d given them candy. But without the crying.

  “Okay, okay,” I said and she let go. “So what’s up? How’s the world of fashion?”

  Lucah took the burgers and fries and put them in the fridge, and then went to go take a shower to give us some privacy. Because he was the prefect boyfriend.

  She was still having problems with her lingerie line, but she seemed more optimistic about it, which was great. She still needed an assistant.

  “I’ve got a bunch of college students I could shove your way,” I said. Lilia would probably be fabulous at it, since she already had excellent fashion sense. But I didn’t want to lose my newfound coding genius. I was going to hold onto her with all my might.

  I was stuffed from the burgers and I could feel a food coma setting in when I remembered what I had to do tomorrow at dinner with my parents. Crap, I should probably call them and inform them that Lucah would be joining us.

  “Listen, I have to call my parents,” I said, hoping she would take the hint. She did, taking her candy and waving good-bye.

  Lucah was still in the shower, so I seized my moment and called my mother.

  “Rory, what a pleasant surprise. Aren’t you going out tonight?” Normally I would, but I was too wiped from the day.

  “No, just having a quiet night in. We went and visited Lucah’s family today and I met his nieces.”

  “How lovely. Did it go well?”

  “I think so, at the end. He and his brother are really different, but I really like him, and his wife and the girls were absolutely adorable.” Beyond adorable. I told her the story about them sliding around in my shoes and that made her laugh.

  “Speaking of Lucah, that’s why I’m calling. Would it be okay if he came with me for dinner tomorrow?” I wasn’t going to tell her why so she didn’t alarm Dad.

  “That would be good, I think. I barely got to talk to him at the ball. You’re living together and I don’t even know him, except from what you and your father have told me.” Uh oh. She was still a little hurt that Fin and I weren’t going to live happily ever after. Even though she’d seen him with Marisol at the Ball, some dreams took a while to die.

  I cleared my throat to hopefully dispel some of the tension. “Okay, great. Well, that was all I had to ask so I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.”

  “Can’t wait. Love you too.”

  Lucah came into the living room wearing just a towel, his freckled chest glistening with water, and his hair dripping in his eyes. He was a god. I had a god living in my apartment.

  I hadn’t gotten to have my way with him yet today, and after all the stress and chaos of meeting his family, I needed another release, only this time I was going to give him one.

  “Do you want some coffee?” He knew I didn’t mean coffee. I stopped right in front of him and slowly got down on my knees.

  “Maybe. Do you do sex?” He said dropping the towel.

  “Yes, yes I do.”

  I did sex. I did it until his hand clenched in my hair and he came in my mouth, grunting my name.

  We took Bluebird to my parents’ house. I knew Dad was going to go nuts over it, as men do when a car is involved. I also thought it would help soften the blow that we were going to deliver.

  “So how should we do this? Before dinner, after? Not at all?” I said as I gave Lucah directions to the house.

  “You were the one who was insistent that we had to tell him. Why the change?”

  “Because I’m afraid he’s going to freak out, like me, and have a heart attack. His blood pressure has never been good and he’s been on the verge of it for so long. I don’t want to push him. I could never live with myself if that happened.” I didn’t even want to think about it for fear that it would jinx something or fuck something up in the cosmos.

  “He needs to know so that we can do something about it.” That was the bottom line. He had to know so he didn’t get blindsided. Because that would definitely push him over the edge.

  I nodded reluctantly. “Okay, let’s do it as soon as we can. But gently. If that’s possible. I might need you to do it so I don’t freak the hell out.”

  “I will do whatever you need me to do.”

  “You’re perfect.”

  “I know.”

  I tensed up for a different reason when we got to my house. With all the worry about telling Dad, I had forgotten about the fact that I was apprehensive about Lucah seeing my house. I’d only given him sketchy details about it.

  It seemed like a silly thing, but I had seen money come between couples too many times to believe that it didn’t matter.

  “This is it,” I said pointing. Why was my house so fucking big? Had it always been that big? Or was I just now noticing its bigness?

  “Wow,” he said, turning the car off and peering up through the windshield.

  “Yeah. I never really think about it, I guess. It’s just home to me.” He got out and then opened my door. Unlike yesterday, he’d dressed formally in one of his work suits, and I was wearing one of the dresses that Sloane had made me. It was red, of course.

  Lucah stood in front of the door, as if he expected me to knock. I gave him a look and started laughing.

  “We can go in. It’s my house.” I opened the door.

  “We’re here,” I called out. Mom came dashing around the corner with the biggest smile on her face. It wasn’t fake, either. No one could rock a fake smile like my mother, but this was genuine.

  “Lucah, it’s so nice to see you again.” She held her hand out and he shook it.

  “Thank you so much Mrs. Clarke.” She didn’t offer to let him call her by her first name, not that he would. She might have been his girlfriend’s mother, but she was also his boss’ wife.

  “Rory, can I take your coat?” I took it off and she took Lucah’s jacket as well. His eyes darted around the house and assessed it.

  “Would you like the tour?” Mom said, sweeping her arm out.

  “Yes, that would be great.” Only the very tips of his ears betrayed how intimidated he was. I took his hand in mine as Mom led us through the downstairs. He especially liked the dorky childhood posed photographs of me that were everywhere.

  “Fair is fair,” he whispered in my ear as I tried to hide one of them behind a vase of flowers. “You got to see mine, now I want to see yours.”

  “You’ve seen mine. Many times.” I whispered back. Mom was oblivious as she talked about a painting.

  “Where’s Dad?”

  “Oh, he�
�s just making a phone call. He’ll be right out.” She rolled her eyes.

  “So he’s been bringing his work home with him?” Instead of taking it easy and working less, he was just bringing it home. Lovely. “Which means he didn’t listen at all to either of us.” She shook her head, and pasted on her fake smile in front of Lucah. He might be my boyfriend, but he was a guest and she wanted to make a good impression. Just like I’d wanted to with his family yesterday.

  “Ah, there he is.” Dad came out of his study and seemed startled to see us all there.

  “Hi, Dad.” I went and gave him a hug, an extra tight one.

  “Mr. Clarke. Nice to see you outside of the office, sir.” Lucah shook his hand and Dad smiled.

  “Same to you, Mr. Blaine. Or Blythe. Still getting used to the name change.” Lucah smiled and I could feel a moment of awkward silence coming. But as soon as she felt it, Mom escorted us into the dining room and had us sit down. I looked at Lucah.

  “Now?” I whispered to him as Dad and Mom brought in the dinner. Tonight it was baked chicken with grilled artichokes and Brussels sprouts, with a lemon sponge cake for dessert.

  We all served ourselves and once our plates were full of food, I cleared my throat.

  “Dad? Can we talk about something with you?”

  “Now? Can’t it wait until after we’ve eaten?” Lucah nudged my leg under the table. It was now or never.

  “No, it can’t wait. Um, so Lucah informed me that, well . . . “ I trailed off. I couldn’t say the words. Before I could ask him to finish for me, Lucah opened his mouth.

  “There really isn’t a way to put this delicately, Mr. Clarke. The Board of Directors wants you gone and has been meeting in secret to try to figure out a way to oust you.” Well, I couldn’t have put it better.

  Dad put his fork down, steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them.

  “I know.”

  “You know?” I nearly fell out of my chair. Lucah was just as stunned beside me. Mom wore a grim smile on her face.

  “I’ve known for a long time. I might have been in the dark about all the recent unpleasantness, but there is no way I wouldn’t be aware of this. I expected it. Why wouldn’t they try to oust me? Some very illegal things happened on my watch. In their eyes, it was my fault for being incompetent. So. I know, and I’m doing what I can to take care of it.”