Deep Surrendering: Episode Seven Read online

  A sick feeling started in the pit of my stomach.

  “So what are you going to do?” I asked in a quiet voice.

  He took my hands again, and I knew he wasn’t going to say the words I wanted to hear.

  “I have to go back, Marisol. It’s not because of him. It’s because I dropped everything. I just left all these loose ends and I need to tie them up if I have any hope of ever being on my own. I can’t just . . . quit. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but please understand this doesn’t mean I’m going back to the way things were. I’m changing. I can feel it, and it’s because of you. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to be better for you. I want to be able to give you all the things you need, and in order to do that, I have to close this chapter of my life so we can write a new one together.”

  I couldn’t stop the tears from coming.

  “Oh, Marisol.” He used his thumbs to brush away my tears. “We’re going to be so much stronger when we come out on the other side of this. I know you know that.”

  I did. Our path wasn’t an easy one, and we had a lot to go through before we could get to stable ground. We covered a lot already, but there was still more.

  “It’s okay, I understand. I believe you, and I know you’re going to finally take your freedom and come back to me. I believe that more than anything in the world.”

  He leaned forward and kissed me. I melted into him and he put his arms around me and held me so close I could barely breathe.

  “I’m doing this for the both of us. You’ve given me the strength to start. I’m so grateful for you, Marisol. Even if you left me today and we never saw each other again, my life has been changed for having you in it.”

  That made me cry harder.

  “You always say the best things,” I said through my tears, laughing a little. “You should write novels or something.”

  He joined me in laughter.

  “I’d be a terrible writer. I’d give everyone happy endings.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Life isn’t like that. Most people don’t get happy endings.”

  I kissed both his cheeks. “But we will,” I said, holding his face like he was holding mine. It didn’t even matter that Carl was here. It wouldn’t matter if we were in a stadium full of people. In my world, just the two of us existed right now.

  “I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen.” He kissed me again, and then Carl cleared his throat to get our attention. We both turned in unison.

  “Where shall I take you?” he asked. He’d been driving this whole time without a destination.

  “I have class later,” I said, staring back at Fin.

  “I can be fast,” he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

  “The apartment please, Carl,” Fin said, not taking his eyes off my face.

  “Think you can bend your no contact rule?” he asked me.

  “Just this once.” I’d be more than happy to bend it till it broke.

  There wasn’t much time for sweet seduction. As soon as Fin got the door open, he ordered me to take my clothes off. I did and headed for the bedroom as he loosened his tie and took off his belt. We had less than an hour, but I was hoping to have him at least twice.

  “Get on the bed on your stomach,” he said, and I hurried to do what he said. He closed the curtains and turned on the chandelier, like always. I hummed with anticipation as I heard the drawer in his closet open. Was he getting something out to use on me? What would it be?

  “I’m going to fuck you fast and hard the first time, do you understand?” I nodded and he ran his hand down my back.

  “I’ve missed you, Mari Cherry. Missed your body. Missed everything about you. Although I enjoyed those little shows you put on for me.” Hell, we’d both enjoyed those.

  He stroked down my backside and then grabbed my ankles, angling me so my feet were on the floor and my chest was still on the bed.

  “Spread your legs.” I did so. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him, but I kept my mouth shut.

  His hand drifted down between my thighs and went right where I needed him. He slid two fingers inside me and used his thumb on my clit. I bit the back of my knuckle so I wouldn’t make a sound. I came so hard and so fast that I wasn’t even aware of the climax until I was in the middle of it.

  “A little pent up, are we?” he said with a chuckle as the last wave dissipated, and I collapsed even further into the mattress. Before I had a moment to recover, he was pulling down his zipper and plunging inside of me. My back arched at the sudden intrusion, but it was good. So good.

  “God, I missed being inside you,” he said, and I waited for him to move, but he stayed still, filling me, moving his hips just a little. “I never want to leave.”

  I didn’t want him to. And then he did, putting a hand on my back and slamming out and then back in so hard I knew I’d have bruises. I welcomed every one.

  He’d never been this rough with me, but I wanted to ask him to be rougher. Go faster. More, more, more.

  Neither of us lasted long, and my second orgasm pummeled me so hard I thought I was going to die. He let out a string of curses behind me and then something warm was dripping on my back.

  He’d never come on me before. It felt . . . animalistic. Like he was marking me as his.

  “Don’t move,” he said, and I froze. Not that I could move if I wanted to. My muscles and bones were on vacation. If the building was on fire, I didn’t think I could leave this bed.

  “You’re mine, you know that? Mine.” Yes. I was his. And I wanted him to be mine.

  He walked around the other side of the bed and tipped my chin up so I was looking at him. He’d zipped his pants, but sweat beaded on his forehead, and his shirt was disheveled. His chest heaved as he looked down at me.

  Slowly, he bent down until we were face-to-face.

  “Mine,” he said, but his voice was soft instead of possessing. Like he was saying it to convince me. Or convince himself.

  “I’m yours,” I said, even though I probably wasn’t supposed to speak yet.

  He closed his eyes and stood up. “I like hearing you say that.”

  Fin went to the bathroom and got a washcloth to clean me up, and then he crawled back into bed with me and took me again, slowly this time, as he kissed my neck and held me close. It was the opposite of the first time, but equally as good. It didn’t matter what he did. I’d always want him.

  “I love you,” I said, because we hadn’t talked about the first time I said it. I didn’t need him to say it back. I didn’t know if I’d ever actually get him to say those exact words, but I could feel his love. He showed me rather than told me. And that was enough.

  “Mine,” he said in my ear.

  We barely had enough time to get ourselves presentable before we had to dash downstairs and get in the car. My stomach growled because I hadn’t eaten, but I’d survive.

  “Thank you for that,” I said, kissing his cheek. “I missed that part of you.”

  “I missed all your parts,” he said with a wink. “So, I’ll pick you up when you’re done.”

  Yet again, our hours together were ticking down. I wanted to smash every clock in existence, then maybe time wouldn’t exist and we wouldn’t be its bitch.

  “Okay,” I said. There were so many other things I wanted to say, but I didn’t.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  He held my chin for a second and gave me a quick kiss. “I’ll be waiting,” he said with a smile, but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach again. Why couldn’t I get control of my anxiety over him? It was really messing with my life. I took a deep breath and got out of the car, pausing for one moment before Carl shut the door.

  “Love you,” I said.

  “I’ll see you later, my Marisol.”

  And Carl shut the door.

  Don’t forget to check out

  Deep Surrendering

  Episode 8
r />   when it comes out on October 16th

  The Noctalis Chronicles

  Nocturnal (Book One)

  Nightmare (Book Two)

  Neither (Book Three)

  Neverend (Book Four)

  The Whisper Trilogy

  Whisper (Book One)

  Fall and Rise

  Deeper We Fall (Book One)

  Faster We Burn (Book Two)

  Slowly We Trust (Book Three)

  My Favorite Mistake

  My Sweetest Escape

  (Available from Harlequin)

  Surrendering

  Sweet Surrendering

  Surrendering to Us

  Dark Surrendering

  For Real

  UnWritten