My Sweet Escape Read online

  “Good night, Little Ne.”

  “Night,” I said, watching him walk back up the stairs. I waited until I heard a door close before I let out a frustrated sigh. Seriously, Renee? SERIOUSLY?

  Chapter 4

  Despite my late bedtime, I woke up at seven the next morning, probably because the smell of bacon had penetrated the cracks under the door and seeped into my room.

  I got dressed and threw on a ratty thermal shirt with thumbholes I’d made myself, a pair of holey jeans and decided to venture upstairs. I half expected to see Mase sitting next to the door to the basement.

  “You’re up,” Renee said, yawning and coming down from upstairs. “I didn’t expect you to be awake this early.” Her hair was all over the place. Either she’d been having some sweet sex with Paul, or she’d been tossing and turning.

  “Especially after I tried to sneak out last night, right?” I said, saying the thing I knew she was thinking. She crossed her arms and her eyes narrowed.

  “We will discuss that later. Right now you’re going to have breakfast because it’s the most important meal of the day.”

  Where was she getting this stuff?

  “You’re not my mother,” I said, walking away from her and heading for the kitchen. She wouldn’t make a scene in front of everyone. At least, I hoped not.

  “Hey, Little Ne,” Mase said brightly, looking up from a giant mug of what I assumed was coffee. Darah was manning several frying pans and Taylor was slumped over at the dining room table.

  “Why did I sign up for an eight-thirty class again?” she moaned as Renee went to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup before going back upstairs.

  “Because it was the only time offered and you need the class to graduate?” Darah said, dumping a huge mess of bacon onto a plate covered in paper towels.

  “You want some?” Darah said. I shook my head. As nice as the bacon smelled, I didn’t think I could stomach it. “We have some toast and eggs, if you want. And there’s always cereal, and I think we still have some pumpkin doughnuts somewhere.” God, it was like living in a bed-and-breakfast.

  “Um, do you have any tea?” I sat down at the table near Taylor, who was trying to pull herself upright so she could drink her coffee.

  “Yeah, sure.” Darah opened a bunch of cabinets before unearthing a dusty box of Lemon Zinger tea. It was going to take a little more than zing to fix my problems, but it was a start.

  Hunter came down a few minutes later, freshly showered and with a grin on his face.

  “Morning, Missy girl,” he said, giving Taylor a kiss. “You awake yet?”

  “No,” she moaned, putting her head against his chest. He laughed and pulled her onto his lap, and I remembered my reasons for wanting to get out of the house last night.

  “Make it go away,” she said.

  “I would if I could, baby.”

  Renee and Paul came in a few minutes later. Her hair was fixed and they were both dressed for the day.

  “Okay, here’s the deal. Since I don’t trust you on your own, you get to come with me today,” Renee said, with a sweet smile that I could tell was hurting her teeth. Everyone looked at me.

  “And since I have class in less than an hour, you’d better get your ass dressed and ready to go.”

  “What am I supposed to do all day?” I sipped my tea and stared into the cup so I wouldn’t have to see everyone staring.

  “I don’t know. You’ll think of something. As long as it doesn’t involve you getting into trouble, or getting me into trouble, we’ll be good. So, that’s how it’s going to go.” It was another well-rehearsed speech.

  “Whatever,” I said, shrugging.

  “I said she could come with me,” Darah said, finally breaking the enormous silence that had suffocated the room.

  “No, it’s fine. She’s my responsibility,” Renee said, going for the coffee.

  “Um, sitting right here,” I said. “And I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “That’s not what I hear,” Renee snapped at me. Mase coughed and shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth. He chewed and mouthed “sorry” at me. Of course he’d told her. I would have been shocked if he hadn’t.

  I sipped my tea and bit back a snarky response.

  * * *

  Two hours later I was yawning, sitting outside one of Renee’s labs. I couldn’t remember which one. It sounded complicated and disgusting at the same time. I’d been smart enough to bring my computer, so I’d been catching up on some of my favorite vlogs and music blogs.

  Then I played my favorite game of trying to find new music by clicking on random videos online. This summer I’d started a music blog, but I’d been slacking on posting this week. Since I was so new at it, I was still trying to find my niche when it came to what the blog was about. I barely got any views, but I discovered that the only thing I loved more than music was writing about it. Before...everything, I never would have considered music blogging. I still hadn’t told anyone I was doing it. They wouldn’t understand—that was for sure.

  Renee had promised me a tour of the campus after we had lunch. From what I’d seen so far, it was a lot like UNH. College campuses were pretty similar, especially if they were state schools. I’d considered coming here, but the idea of being away from my crazy family was more enticing than saving a few bucks by going to an in-state school. I’d gotten into Bowdoin and Bates, two prestigious Maine schools, but they had been far too expensive and my financial aid hadn’t been enough to cover it. Too bad, so sad.

  When she finally emerged from her lab, Renee reeked of formaldehyde, but she had a crazy gleam in her eye. She must have gotten to dissect something.

  “Have fun?” I said, as I got to my feet. My back was crazy stiff from all the sitting I’d done.

  “We got to cut into a fetal pig. It was awesome,” she said, as if she was talking about seeing the latest girlie movie to hit theaters with a hunky vampire in it.

  “Sometimes I wonder if we’re related,” I said as the rest of her class poured out. They didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic as Renee was.

  “I’ve been asking myself that very question for years,” she said as we headed toward the Student Union for lunch. Unlike some people who wouldn’t be able to eat after a fetal pig dissection, Renee got herself a bacon cheeseburger and inhaled it like she hadn’t seen food for weeks. I went with a strawberry walnut salad and picked at it.

  “So I have to do a three-hour shift at the hospital tonight,” she said after she disposed of the burger and was attacking the fries. How she stayed so thin was beyond me. I usually had to watch what I ate to keep myself thin, or at least thin-ish.

  “And?”

  “And you’re coming with me, so I hope you have something to do with yourself. Like maybe getting that transfer paperwork together.”

  I’d rather have my teeth drilled, but the look on Renee’s face told me I didn’t have a choice.

  “So you’re my jailer now, is that it?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t have to be if you’d just follow the damn rules, Joscelyn.” God, she sounded like Mom. Way too much like mom. She even had the same “I’m disappointed in you” face.

  “Fine. Am I allowed to go to the bathroom, or do you need to come with me to hold the cup while I pee?”

  “Cute,” she said as I got up and headed for the bathroom.

  * * *

  I spent the rest of the day watching movies on my computer. I threw in movie reviews every now and then on my blog just to spice things up. They usually got quite a few hits, especially if they were classics from the eighties. There’s something so comforting about watching a movie you’ve seen a ton of times. I started out with Sixteen Candles, and then because I was in a John Hughes kind of mood, I moved on to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and then Pretty in P
ink, which took me almost to the end of Renee’s shift at the hospital.

  I was camped out in one of the lounges, and for a hospital it was pretty quiet except for the occasional squeak of a nurse’s shoes on the linoleum, or a restless kid fussing, or a monitor going off. I’d had dinner at the cafeteria, but that had been a few hours ago, and I was in need of munchies. Renee had showed me a vending machine down the hall, so I fished in my bag for some quarters and paused the movie.

  “Yes,” I said as I saw that they had both M&M’s and Skittles. I couldn’t eat one without the other. It was something I’d started doing as a kid, and it was one of those things I’d always done that had never changed.

  My M&M’s came out fine, but the stupid Skittles bag got stuck. Great. The universe was out to screw me. I banged on the machine, trying to shake the candy loose. Luckily, there was no one around. I didn’t want to get busted for destruction of hospital property. That would most definitely be against Renee’s rules.

  I turned my shoulder and shoved the side of the machine, trying desperately to get the bag of candy to fall from the clutches of the machine.

  “Come on, you son of a bitch,” I said, ramming my shoulder into the machine.

  “You have to put your hips into it,” a voice said, making me look up from my assault of the vending machine.

  “What?” A guy wearing a baggy hoodie and equally baggy jeans over torn-up high-tops was looking at me like I was something he’d never seen before. He had darkish skin, cropped black hair, but the most astonishing green eyes. Unlike mine, which shaded toward blue, they were almost goldish. They popped in his face, especially since they were fixed on me. He jerked his chin at the machine.

  “You have to put your hips into it. Here,” he said, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching before motioning to me to move aside. “The key is to thrust your whole body into it. Not just your shoulders.”

  Was it just me, or did he make that sound sexual on purpose? I gaped at him and he laughed. Nope, wasn’t just me. It was one of those laughs that made you want to laugh, too, like a reflex. I was barely able to hide the smile that threatened to spread on my face.

  “On three,” he said, putting his hands on the machine next to mine. Up close, his eyes were even brighter. They almost glowed.

  “One. Two. Three,” he said, and we both shoved at the machine, which moved a hell of a lot more than when I’d been the only one pushing it. I heard a satisfying clunk of the Skittles falling. The guy went around the front of the machine and pulled the bag out.

  “Mission accomplished.” He winked as he held it out to me.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking the bag and making sure to avoid touching his hand. I was about to turn around and leave when he made a sound, like he was going to say something. I stood there, waiting.

  “I should get back,” I finally blurted out to break the uncomfortable silence that stood between us.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Of course, of course,” he said, shaking his head as if he’d forgotten something and just remembered it. He smiled and stuck his hands into his pockets.

  “Okay. Well, ’bye.” I gave him a little wave and turned around. What a weirdo.

  “Don’t forget. Put your whole body into it next time, Red,” he said, making me turn back around. He was grinning again. Red? Like I hadn’t heard that one before. At least he hadn’t called me Carrots.

  “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.”

  For the last time, I spun around and walked back to the lounge, his laughter echoing behind me.

  The lounge was still empty when I got back, and all my stuff was still there, so I settled back in to finish another movie.

  Next thing I knew, someone was shaking my shoulder.

  “Hey, Jos. Time to go,” Renee said, her voice softer than I’d heard it in a long time. It was the voice she probably used with patients. I’d fallen asleep on the couch. I couldn’t even remember it. My computer was dark; it, too, had gone to sleep.

  Renee sat down next to me, pulling my feet into her lap and letting out a heavy sigh.

  “So what did you do?”

  “Nothing,” I said, tilting my neck back and forth to work out some kinks. “What time is it?”

  “Ten. You ready to go home?” Home. Was that what her place was now?

  “Yeah.” I swung my feet over and sat up.

  “I see you raided the vending machine,” she said, picking up the empty candy bags. “You freak and your candy combinations.” She crumpled them up and found a trash can as I packed up all my stuff.

  “Did you get to do anything interesting?” she said as we walked back down to her car.

  Other than the interaction with the Vending Machine Hero? I was about to tell her about that and changed my mind.

  “Nope,” I said around a yawn. Maybe I’d sleep tonight. Usually I got to a point where I was so exhausted that my body just shut itself down. This felt like one of those times.

  “You know, you should call Mom.” I didn’t want to. I knew it would just end up in another yelling match, and I was too tired to deal with that right now.

  “I will.” Renee was about to say something, but changed her mind.

  “Okay.”

  Chapter 5

  Everyone was deep in study mode when we got back to the house. Paul had taken up almost the entire dining room table with something that, at a glance, looked far too complicated to even begin to understand.

  Taylor and Hunter had the living room, and both had their heads buried deep in textbooks. Darah was at a little desk that was tucked next to the stairs, and I suspected Mase was also around somewhere. Nine months ago, I would have been right there with them. Now I thought they just looked like a bunch of people wasting their time.

  “Little Ne,” Mase said, coming down the stairs, a textbook in hand, big surprise. “How’s life?”

  “Peachy,” I said, putting my bag down on the bench by the front door. The sound of the door closing seemed to rouse everyone else, and they descended on us. There were just so many of them. It was overwhelming. Plus the happy. That was equally overwhelming. Paul came over and gave Renee a kiss, and she went to sit with him at the dining table to catch up.

  “I’m going down to my...room,” I said, catching myself before I could say cave. It wasn’t really a cave. Or, if it was, it was the nicest cave ever. With Wi-Fi and everything.

  “Are you sure? This house is yours now. You don’t have to stay down there,” Hunter said. “We’re not that scary, are we?” He turned to Taylor, whose eyes were pretty glazed over.

  “What? I’m still thinking about suffragettes.” He gave her a look and shook his head.

  “Seriously, Jos, this is your home.” It wasn’t really, but it was nice of him to say that.

  “I’m just really tired. I’m going to bed.” I said good-night to everyone, including Renee.

  “Not planning any nocturnal activities?” she said.

  “Nope,” I said, popping my lips on the p.

  “Well, just in case, I’m watching you,” she said, making a gesture with two fingers to her eyes and then pointing them at me. “Whenever you think I’m not there, that’ll be when I show up.”

  “Jesus, enough with the third degree. I got it. Message received. Mission accomplished.” I stomped down the stairs and banged the door shut.

  Ahh, peace and quiet.

  * * *

  The rest of the week went pretty much like that first full day, with the exception of Renee letting me go to the admissions office by myself to sign up for all my classes and get everything transferred over from UNH. Since my first year grades were so high, even with the shitty grades I’d gotten last semester, they were still willing to let me in.

  When it came to classes, I just picked whatever. I�
��d decided to stick with my major, political science with a prelaw minor, since it seemed easier than picking a new one. I’d thought transferring would be a pain in the ass, but it was relatively easy, and before the end of the week I was officially a UMaine Black Bear, with an official decal for my car and a copy of the school song, the “Stein Song.” I was sure I wasn’t the first person who found it ironic that a college had a drinking song as their official school song. What kind of message did that send?

  I’d only really missed the first week of classes, so I was going to be able to catch up no problem, according to all the professors who had emailed me on my new UMaine account to send me the syllabi from their classes.

  Renee wasn’t around to take me to get my textbooks, because of a meeting of her nursing club, so the task fell to Hunter and Taylor, who drove me to campus on Saturday.

  They fought about what music to play the whole way there.

  “I think that Jos should pick,” Taylor finally said when we were practically driving onto campus.

  “I don’t care.”

  “The rule is that the driver gets to pick,” Hunter said, skipping a song that Taylor had picked out.

  “Uh, no, the rule is that I get to pick.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since you put this swell ring on my finger,” she said, holding up the amazing ring that Hunter had gotten her when they’d first started dating. It was fucking huge, and nearly blinding when you looked at it. Yet another show of his wealth. It was just wrong that some people had so much money and others had less than nothing. Not that Renee and I were poor, but we definitely got our fair share of financial aid, what with our parents having so many kids between them.

  “That ring does not give you totalitarian radio powers,” Hunter said, taking her hand and kissing it.

  “Thank God,” I said under my breath as he found a parking spot by the performing arts center, which wasn’t too far from the bookstore. They continued to argue as we walked into the Union and then went downstairs to the bookstore. I was about to tell them that I could just find my books myself when Hunter grabbed my list from my hand and started grabbing books.