Sweet Surrendering Read online

  I started from The Morning After, because she didn’t know about that yet, and worked my way forward. Actually, it was weird that she hadn’t asked me about this before now. Her lack of shock was also starting to make me suspicious.

  “And then I told him that we couldn’t do it anymore, which you already know,” I said. Marisol feigned shock. An actress she was not.

  “What? No, this is the first time I’m hearing about this. Go on.” I turned and glared at Sloane.

  “What? You never made me sign an NDA. That means everything is fair game. Besides, you would have told her eventually. I just told her sooner. And you know I’m better at telling stories anyway.” She was right on the last count, and I would have told Marisol. Ugh, I hated it when Sloane was right. She always gloated way too much.

  “FINE.” My story time had been hijacked, so I just gave up and let Sloane tell the rest of the story.

  Neither of us mentioned Fin, and I felt bad. We were totally ambushing her.

  “So how’s Chlo?” Marisol and Chloe lived only a block apart and saw each other almost every day. She had to work this morning, which was why she hadn’t come with us.

  “She’s still . . . not good. We need to find her a rebound. If she doesn’t get out of this funk soon, I swear I’m going to make out with her.” That made the women doing our nails give each other shocked faces and the three of us smothered our laughter.

  “There is this girl in one of my classes that definitely stares at my boobs in a lusty way. You know how you can tell if a girl’s just jealous of your boobs, or if she wants to motorboat them.” I had to shove my fist in my mouth and I swear the woman working on my feet looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

  “I’ll have to do some more covert ops to find out for sure, but she’s definitely Chlo’s type.”

  “So what week have we decided on for our trip?” I said, trying to change the subject. As much fun as it was to watch the manicurists to squirm, I didn’t want them to charge us extra.

  “Um, I can’t do the 24th to the 31st anymore,” Marisol said. “I’m sorry! I got roped into doing this charity thing.” Marisol was always getting herself into that stuff. She had a hard time saying no to anyone.

  “No, that’s fine. We can reschedule,” Sloane said, looking at her phone. We’d already rescheduled four times. When you try to take a trip with four women who have high-pressure jobs or school, things get tricky. We’d been planning on going together to Jamaica for at least a year. The ultimate Girls' Week. But it was proving more difficult to plan than figuring out Donald Trump’s hair.

  After our hands and feet were polished and pretty and the women in the shop breathed a sigh of relief, we went to lunch.

  “So do you think he’ll be there again tonight?” Chloe said.

  “Seriously? Are we back to that?” I thought we were done. I’d relaxed and was enjoying my Lucas Blaine-free time.

  “Oh, he’ll be there,” Sloane said, bumping my knee with hers. “He wants you. Bad.”

  Yeah, well, it was mutual.

  “Are you blushing? Wow, do you really like this guy?” Chloe said, which made me blush even more.

  “No, no. I mean, he’s fine to work with and he’s not bad in bed, but that’s it. He may be funny and able to sing and have fabulous hair and a chin dimple . . .” I trailed off.

  “Fuck,” I said, before remembering that we were in a café and there were children around. “I like him.”

  Sloane and Chloe gave each other the same face.

  “I love how you’re the last to realize it,” Sloane said. “For someone who’s so smart, you can be pretty dense sometimes.”

  “I mean, I can like him without liking him, liking him.” God, I sounded like I was in junior high again. Maybe I should pass Lucas (Mr. Blaine) one of those notes that was like, Do you like me? Circle one: Yes, No, Maybe.

  Sloane and Chloe both laughed at my expense and I slumped in my chair.

  “Shut up, both of you.”

  As the day wore on, I started to get more and more nervous. It was very similar to the feeling you have before a first date. Not knowing what to expect, worried you’re going to make a fool of yourself. It had been a long, long time since I’d had first date jitters. I hadn’t even had them with Royce.

  Sloane was dressing me, and I was being shoved into another one of her lingerie creations. This time it was a beautiful black bustier with sapphire flowers embroidered all over it, and a matching set of panties with little blue bows on the sides. It was nothing I’d ever dare to wear, but Sloane was insistent, so I put it on under a tank top and layered a sheer t-shirt over it so hopefully no one would guess what I was wearing underneath. I paired that with my favorite pair of dark jeans, and high-heeled black boots.

  “Fabulous! I really like this real-world testing. Between you and Chlo, I’m gaining valuable insight.”

  “That means we get a cut, right? Ten percent?” I said as I turned back and forth to make sure nothing was sticking out.

  “Nice try, bitch.”

  It was worth a shot.

  An hour later we were in the bar, and I was fiddling with my first gin and tonic. Fin had texted that he was running late, but I told him it was no big deal. We’d gotten an extra chair and piled our purses on it, so we could just clear it off when he got here. So far, there had been no Lucas Blaine sightings, but that didn’t mean much.

  “Terrible. That girl really should never ever sing again,” Sloane said as a girl exited the stage to a smattering of polite applause. The really mean critics hadn’t gotten here yet. It was good she went on early, or else she would have gotten ripped apart and probably left the stage crying. That happened at least once every time.

  “Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad,” Marisol said. “Okay, maybe it was. Maybe I want to bleach my eardrums so I can clean myself of that experience.”

  “Good plan,” I said, finally sipping my drink. Most of the ice was melted, so it was pretty watered down.

  “Calm down,” Sloane said in my ear and squeezed my knee. I was pretty good at hiding my nervousness in the boardroom, but this was completely different.

  And then it happened. It was like I heard him open the door, even though that was impossible. There was way too much noise, but I knew the second he walked in. It was almost supernatural.

  “He’s here,” Sloane said in my ear, but I knew that already. Slowly, I turned my head and there he was, making his way through the crowd, his eyes locked on me. It was a bit like one of those scenes in a movie when all the sounds around me went down in volume and everything slowed and all I could see was this man walking toward me. This gorgeous man who only had eyes for me.

  Yeah, I liked him.

  “Miss Clarke,” he said, stopping about three feet away. He was casual again in a black t-shirt with a faded emblem on the front and jeans.

  “Hi,” I said, dropping any pretense of formality.

  “Nice to see you again,” Sloane said, resting her head on my shoulder and smiling. Shameless. She was shameless.

  “It’s nice to see all of you again. Could I buy you ladies some drinks?” Sloane kicked me under the table and I kicked her back as Lucas took everyone’s drink orders and went to the bar.

  “Oh my God, he looks at you like he wants to do you right here in front of everyone. I wouldn’t mind watching him in action,” Sloane said, openly ogling him as he leaned over the bar to get the bartender’s attention.

  “Those buns are fresh and hot from the bakery.” I smacked her on the arm.

  “What? I’m just admiring. Don’t worry.” I wasn’t worried about Sloane and Lucas. In fact, when Sloane was really into a guy, she didn’t talk about all this stuff.

  “He is pretty cute, Ror.” Even Marisol was in on the action.

  “If he had a vagina, boobs and longer hair, I’d be all over that,” Chloe added.

  “I don’t know you people,” I said, shaking my head.

  Our ogling was interr
upted by a voice behind me.

  “Hey, sorry I’m late. I got held up with something,” Fin said and we all turned.

  “Oh, hey Fin,” I said as he gave me a side hug. It was easier because I was almost at his level since I was sitting on a high chair.

  “Everyone, this is Fin Herald. Fin, this is Sloane and Chloe and Marisol.” He shook everyone’s hand and I definitely saw Marisol blush, and Sloane kicked me under the table again. Pretty soon I was going to have bruises.

  I moved our purses and Fin took the last available chair as two guys took the stage and did an awesome rendition of ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ complete with a tambourine.

  “Here we are,” Lucas said, a tray in his hand with everyone’s drinks on it. Oh, this could get weird.

  “Fin, this is Lucas Blaine. We work together.” Fin smiled at Lucas and extended his hand. Lucas paused and his eyes flicked from me to Fin and then he shook Fin’s hand.

  “Nice to meet you,” Lucas said as everyone sipped their drinks.

  “Nice to meet you as well,” Fin said and I knew he knew that this was the guy I’d been telling him about the other day.

  Sometimes I wish life had an Abort button. I’d be pushing it right now to get out of this situation.

  “Fin’s a friend from high school and he’s back in town for a few weeks visiting. Our parents are best friends so they tried to set us up.” No point in beating around the bush.

  “Yeah, that wasn’t awkward at all, was it?” Fin said with a laugh. Lucas still looked a little tense, and I could sense he was trying to figure out what the deal was between Fin and me. Not that it was any of his business. He wasn’t my boyfriend.

  “Would you like a drink, Fin? I didn’t know you were coming, or else I would have gotten you one,” Lucas said.

  “No, I’m fine. I’m actually trying to cut back. I’m a bit of an all or nothing guy.” He looked down and his happy façade cracked for a moment. Hmm. There was a story there, but now wasn’t the time for it.

  “Fair enough.”

  “Are you going to sing?” I said, trying to save the situation.

  “I was thinking about it. I brought my guitar, just in case. It’s in the back.” I hadn’t seen him with it, so he must have stashed it somewhere. Fin’s phone rang and he looked at the screen.

  “Shit, I have to take this. Excuse me.” He weaved his way through the crowd and outside.

  “I have to pee,” Sloane announced.

  “Me too,” Marisol added.

  “Wait for me,” Chloe said, taking a gulp of her drink and then grabbing her purse before the three of them left me alone with Lucas.

  “They’re about as subtle as a punch in the face,” Lucas said, watching them go. I shook my head and turned to face him.

  “So,” I said.

  “So,” he said. The last time we did that, we ended up having sex.

  I touched his arm. “You jealous, Mr. Blaine?”

  He leaned in so I could hear him better. “And why would you think that, Miss Clarke?”

  “Because you look like you want to take Fin out back and rough him up a little even though you really have no reason to. My relationship, or lack thereof, with him is none of your business because our relationship is strictly professional.”

  “If you say so,” he said, brushing some of my hair away from my face. I shouldn’t have worn it down, but Sloane said it looked better and I was having a good hair day.

  “Stop it.” He sighed and his breath moved my hair again.

  “Okay, Miss Clarke.” He moved backward.

  “Thank you for the drinks. You didn’t have to do that.” I didn’t want him to go. But I didn’t think he should stay.

  “You’re welcome Miss Clarke,” he said with a little bow. I smiled and he smiled back as he made his way toward the stage and disappeared into the back room of the bar, presumably to get his guitar.

  “Hey, sorry about that.” Fin’s voice cut through the haze Lucas had left behind.

  “No problem,” I said with another smile.

  “So, uh, that was the guy, huh?”

  “Yup, that was the guy.”

  Fin gave me a look.

  “What?”

  “I stand by my advice even more now. You want him. He wants you. Let it happen.” He shrugged and winked at me. “I’m going to go get a glass of water. You want one?”

  “Sure, yeah.” He patted my shoulder and left me alone again.

  “Where did your sexcretary go?” Sloane said as the three traitors came back.

  “He was scared of you three and ran away,” I said, downing my second drink. I was cutting myself off after that. The last time I’d had drinks in this bar and Lucas had sung, I’d ended up in bed with him, and that was something that couldn’t happen again. Fuck Fin’s advice.

  “Shut up, he was not. Oh, there he is.” The announcer said his name and he took the stage with his guitar and sat on a stool again. Be still my ladyparts.

  “This is a little song you might remember, but I’ve decided to put my own twist on it,” Lucas said into the mic and then sat back on the stool.

  “This should be interesting,” Sloane said in my ear. I batted her away as Fin came back with a glass of water for himself and one for me.

  He started playing the guitar and I recognized the song immediately.

  “Is that ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’?” Sloane hissed at me, and I glared at her as Lucas started to sing.

  Somehow he’d taken an 80’s ballad and turned it into a slower, sexier song that was something else entirely.

  “Wow,” Sloane breathed in my ear. “If you don’t want him, I’ll take him.”

  Lucas finished the song and opened his eyes. He always sang with his eyes closed.

  “Thank you,” he said, and got a round of applause and cheering and a few wolf whistles. I clapped along with everyone else, completely lost in his performance. He smiled and exited the stage to make way for the next performer.

  “I never thought I would actually like that song, but that was pretty damn good,” Fin said, nodding his approval.

  “Get up,” Sloane said, shoving me off my chair.

  “Hey!” I had no choice but to give up my chair.

  “Get out of here. Right now. Before I change my mind and go for him.” She pushed me toward the back of the bar. I looked at Marisol and Chloe for help, but they were staring into their drinks. Fin just made a shooing motion with his hands and then turned to talk to Marisol.

  “Go on,” Sloane said, and I was powerless against her as she pushed me through the bar.

  “And don’t come home tonight,” she said in my ear before smacking me on the ass and walking back to the table.

  I was about to turn around and go back, but Lucas came out of the back and smacked right into me.

  He caught me before either of us fell and smiled when he realized it was me.

  “Coming to get an autograph, Sunshine?” He steadied me with one arm and had his guitar with the other. Shit.

  “No. My soon-to-be-former roommate shoved me over here. So here I am.” I crossed my arms and tried to put on my best Bitch Face.

  “Ah, so you’re here under duress. I’m so sorry about that, Miss Clarke.”

  “It’s no big deal, Mr. Blaine. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to call a cab and go home.” I turned to go, but he stopped me.

  “Wait. Don’t go.” I sighed and turned back around. “Stay. Please.”

  “I can’t, Lucas. We can’t.” He moved closer and I could see the desperation on his face and I could feel it inside of me. I wanted him so much.

  “One more time. Please?” His voice was deep and it made me feel something unfold way down inside and I knew I was going to say yes, even as I tried to say no.

  “Why did you have to sing? I could say no if you didn’t sing,” I said as he moved closer and pulled me into his chest.

  He laughed and it rumbled through him.

  “I’ll keep that in min
d. Come on. Come home with me. One last time.”

  Maybe I’d been going about this the wrong way. Maybe if I gave in, really gave in, for one night then I’d get it out of my system and it would take the forbidden nature away from our relationship. That was probably half the attraction anyway. Forbidden things were always more sexy.

  Plus, I had fabulous underwear on.

  “One night. I’m all yours for one night.” I looked up at him and he stared down at me.

  “One perfect night.”

  His hand slid down my back, squeezed my ass and then he twisted his fingers in mine.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  This time we held hands in the cab on the ride to his apartment. He kept looking over at me and smiling, and I was getting the first date flutters again. I felt bad for abandoning poor Fin, but Sloane texted and assured me that he and Marisol had been deep in conversation and he hadn’t even noticed that I’d left. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who wouldn’t be going home alone tonight.

  Lucas traced the back of my hand with his thumb, and it was so sweet that I giggled.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You’re cute when you laugh.” The praise made me blush and giggle again.

  “Stop that. My reputation as a bitch is going to be shattered if you tell anyone that.” He looked down at our joined hands.

  “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” He leaned closer and kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll tell everyone at the office what a heartless bitch you are. Happy?”

  I glared at him and he laughed.

  “You’re cute when you do that, too.” He was exasperating. Why did I get in this cab with him again?

  The cab stopped and Lucas paid the cabbie and helped me out, keeping his hand in mine.

  “Hopefully I don’t have any mishaps with the key this time,” he said. We walked through the lobby and to the elevator, and this really did feel like a date. I just couldn’t decide if it was the end or the beginning of one.

  “Shall we?” he said as the doors opened.

  “Here goes nothing,” I muttered and I knew he heard me.

  “One last night,” he said, pulling me close and kissing me softly. Like a first kiss. Tentative.