Together We Heal Page 20

  “I don’t know. That’s shoving a needle through a pretty sensitive bit of anatomy.” She looked up from my nipple.

  “You could always pierce this,” she said, stroking my cock, which was finally coming back to life. Normally my recovery time wasn’t that long, but for some reason being with Trish had taken the bullets out of my gun for longer than usual.

  “Hell no,” I said, not even wanting to think about how fucking painful it would be. Trish was now studying me as if she was picturing it. She flicked her finger across my head. Pain and pleasure at the same time.

  “Well, it’s something to think about. It heightens pleasure. For both of us.” She raised one eyebrow and I laughed.

  “I think that much more pleasure might kill one or both of us,” I said as she lazily stroked me up and down. If she kept that up, we were going to be heading for round two.

  Did I mention this was the best birthday ever? Sex and a car all in one day. I was the luckiest guy on the planet.

  “Maybe. Maybe not.” She gave me a sly smile and then scooted down until her face was level with my cock. Well, shit.

  I stopped thinking as she wrapped her lips around me. I stopped thinking about just about everything but her for quite a while.

  WE BOTH MOANED when the alarms went off the next morning. Neither of us bothered to put clothes back on last night, so we were both naked and wrapped around each other. I loved having the smell of her skin all over my sheets.

  “Why do we have to get up and do things?” she said, covering her eyes with her hands.

  “That’s one of life’s greatest mysteries,” I said, feeling the same way.

  “Well, the thing is, if we don’t leave this room, people will come looking for us, and I’d rather not have anyone but me see your naked self.” She squinted at me and I loved the way her eyes were just a little puffy and her hair was just an absolute disaster. It was going to take her quite a while to untangle it.

  “How about a shower? It’s big enough for two.” Now I was the one doing the eyebrow wiggling.

  “I like this idea,” she said, levering herself to her feet and giving me a hand.

  I’D ALMOST COMPLETELY forgotten about the letter from the night before. That was how much information my poor brain had to deal with.

  “You still okay with me liking girls?” Trish asked as we stood under the spray of the shower.

  “Hey, I like girls. Girls are awesome. I can totally understand why you would.” She shook her head at me.

  “What?”

  “I can’t believe I can joke with you like this. I never thought it would happen. It’s just crazy.” That was the thing, it didn’t seem that crazy to me. It was just… Trish.

  We got out of the shower and she went first so no one caught us. Technically “four-legged showers” were verboten, so we didn’t want to get caught by an RA or someone else.

  “What would they do? Like, tell you not to take showers?” she asked when we got back to her room.

  “No idea, but I’d rather not find out.”

  “Good plan.”

  IT WAS STRANGE to not be with Max. I would turn, expecting him to be sitting right next to me but he wasn’t. Since we’d been together last night, I guess I was just more aware of him. Or at least more aware of the absence of him.

  I’d never before understood those couples who had to spend every waking second together, but I definitely did now. I’d seen him a few hours ago, but it felt like forever. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Was he missing me as much as I missed him? I hoped so.

  I also hoped he wasn’t second-guessing his reaction to the letter. Deciding that no, he definitely wasn’t okay with me being bi. He hadn’t seemed like that this morning, but you never knew.

  I just couldn’t let it go. I had a session with Beth that afternoon and I almost felt like I had to talk fast to get everything that had happened out.

  “Wow,” she said, after I’d finished. I wasn’t shy with sharing anything with her now. It was weird. Telling someone who wasn’t technically involved with my life all my secrets was easier than I thought it would be.

  “Pretty much,” I said and we both laughed a little. I’d stopped caring about her note taking. Most of the time I didn’t even notice it.

  “And how do you feel now that you’ve come out to someone other than me?” I had to think about it for a second. Figure out what my emotions were instead of just telling her that I was fine.

  “Good? I guess. Surprised that he was so totally okay with it. Hopeful that my other friends and my brother will have the same reaction. Worried that they won’t. Worried that he’ll change his mind.” Mostly good, but still those little doubts lingered in the back of my mind. They were always there and they always would be. No one was 100 percent positive all the time. You’d have to be insane.

  “So even though things went as well as they possibly could, you’re still putting a negative spin on it?” Ugh, I hated it when she did that. Pointed out that shit.

  “Yeah,” I said. “What? It’s my normal thing. That’s what I always do. Expect things to go south because they almost always do.” At least they had so far in my life.

  “But is that really true? Yes, you had a lot of bad things happen, but there are good things too. You’ve got a brother who took you in and loves you. You’re in college, you’ve got a job and a boyfriend and friends who adore you. Don’t let the bad things blot out all the good things.” I knew she was right.

  “It’s hard,” I said.

  She gave me a reassuring smile.

  “I know.” That was it. Having a therapist was part of the process, but the person in therapy had to do the actual work. It sucked ass.

  I ALMOST JUMPED on Max when he came home from work that night.

  “Oh my God, that was the longest day ever,” he said, gathering me into his arms like we were being reunited after a long separation. He even lifted me off my feet and spun me around.

  “I know,” I said when he put me down. “I kept thinking you were with me, but then you weren’t. It was totally weird.” We sort of laughed together and I kissed him hard.

  “Wait, wait. I want to know how your day was before we get naked,” he said, pulling away. What was he talking about? I looked down and realized I was starting to pull his shirt up. Oops.

  I yanked my hands back.

  “My bad.”

  “You don’t have to stop. We could talk after…” That was all the encouragement I needed. Another storm started and in the aftermath there were bits and pieces of clothes everywhere and Max and I were sweating and out of breath. Thank God we’d both bought huge boxes of condoms so we wouldn’t get stuck again.

  “Well. Can’t say I’ve ever done that before,” he said. Somehow we’d ended up trying the sixty-nine position and had gotten each other off that way before going for a second round missionary style.

  “Nice, me neither. Well, not with a guy,” I said and then cringed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No, it’s fine,” he said, taking my hand and kissing it. “It doesn’t bother me. Maybe just don’t tell me that stuff right after we’ve had sex.” That was a good plan.

  “Hey, question,” I said.

  “Uh huh.”

  “Who do you think decided it was called missionary position? Like, was that a common position for missionaries to have sex?” He laughed and smacked my ass.

  “I have no idea, but it would be interesting to Google it and find out. I bet the truth is much more dull than anything you could come up with in that crazy sexy brain of yours.” He tapped my head.

  “I like it when you call my brain sexy.”

  “Your brain is sexy. Along with the rest of you. You’re all sexy all the time.” I’d never thought of myself that way, but hearing Max say it so much was starting to help me to feel it.

  “So, can we talk about your day now?” he asked. It was late, but I didn’t care. I’d sacrifice sleep for Max. I’d sacrifi
ce almost anything for him.

  “Uh huh.” I told him about classes and my session with Beth.

  “So she knows everything?” he asked and I couldn’t tell if he was upset about that or not.

  “Yes. Does that bother you?”

  “If I’m going to be honest, a little, but I understand that it’s easier to tell someone you don’t know very well your secrets than it is to tell someone in your life. I’m not mad. You did tell me and that’s what matters.” Okay, good.

  “She thinks that I should tell Stryker before I tell anyone else,” I said. It made sense, but it wasn’t going to be easy. I couldn’t do it over the phone. It would have to be in person and I didn’t want to do it at one of the group dinners.

  “That seems like a good idea. When do you think you’ll do it?” Ugh, I didn’t know. I had to get used to the idea that Max knew. Maybe next week? I couldn’t do it all at once. It was just too much.

  “There’s no pressure. No time crunch,” he said, running his fingers through my hair. “Don’t worry about it.” But I did and I would worry about it. At least until I knew for sure.

  I flipped things around and asked him about his day.

  “Have you talked to your mom lately?” I asked.

  He immediately clammed up and didn’t want to talk anymore. I grabbed his chin and held his face so he couldn’t look away from me.

  “Hey now. I just told you something really personal. And I’ve been opening up a lot to you. So I’d like it if you did the same. Okay?” He nodded and I let go.

  “So, have you talked to your mom lately?” I asked again.

  “No. I’ve been ignoring her calls.” She’d called me on my birthday, but I’d let it go to voicemail.

  “Max,” I said. “You shouldn’t do that. Call her back.” He sighed and rolled over onto his back and put his hands behind his head.

  “It’s not that simple,” he said.

  “Why not? You’re never going to get anything resolved until you talk to her.”

  He turned on me.

  “And why don’t you talk to Stryker? We’ve got a pot and kettle situation going on right now.” I hated to admit it, but he did have a point. I couldn’t give advice about dealing with family when I wasn’t dealing with my own.

  “I’ll make you a deal,” I said, flipping over on my stomach and propping myself up on my arms. “If I tell Stryker, you agree to really have a talk with your mom. In person. Face-to-face.” He blanched and I thought he was going to tell me there was no fucking way. But I waited and then he stuck his hand out.

  “Deal,” he said. We shook on it, but he didn’t let go of my hand. Instead, he yanked me toward him until I was sprawled on top.

  “I think we need to do something more than a handshake to seal this particular deal,” he said, his eyes sparkling with dirty thoughts.

  “Oh yeah?” I said, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about. “And what did you have in mind?”

  “Well,” he said, jacking his hips up. “It involves you and me and very specific parts of our anatomy interacting together.” I tapped my chin, pretending to think about it.

  “I think that can be arranged. Maybe.” All of a sudden he growled and I found myself being flipped over. He was getting really good at that.

  “Get on your stomach,” he said, his voice deep and commanding. Oohhhhhh, that was new. And it was fucking hot.

  I gave him one last look before I did what he wanted. He yanked my legs around and got me positioned just the way he wanted me.

  “Now I think you need a demonstration of what I was talking about. Sometimes words can’t really convey an idea,” he said, and I turned my head to the side so I could see him in my peripheral vision.

  “I’m on board with this idea,” I said a little breathlessly.

  “I’m so happy you said that,” he said, giving me a wink before spreading my legs and then pulling my hips up so my ass was in the air and my chest was still on the bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but then…

  “Oh, shit,” I said.

  “See? Isn’t this better than a handshake?”

  I could only moan in response.

  I CERTAINLY ENJOYED the “sealing” of the deal with Trish, but I wasn’t so keen on actually following through on it. I hadn’t been home in months. I only went home when I absolutely had to and I even considered taking summer classes so I could stay in the dorms all year round. Plus, I could probably graduate early if I did.

  I also avoided confrontations with my parents as much as I possibly could. Actually going and starting one seemed idiotic, but I’d made a deal and I wasn’t going to go back on it. Besides, talking to my mom wasn’t nearly as scary as Trish telling her brother about her sexuality. Basically, she was way braver than I could ever hope to be.

  A few days later we had another dinner at Stryker and Katie’s. I didn’t think Trish really wanted to talk to him in front of everyone, and I was a little surprised when she was fine with going.

  “You’re not going to tell him, so why are you so nervous?” I asked as she jittered in the car. I’d finally gotten it registered and insured and even though both of those things cost me an arm and a leg, the car itself was still free, so I couldn’t turn my nose up at it.

  “I know, I know. I just have this crazy feeling that he’s going to know.” That made me bust out laughing.

  “Trish, if he hasn’t figured it out by now, I’m pretty sure your secret is safe.” She nodded and stared out the window.

  “IT’S TACO THURSDAY. Or something,” Stryker said. “Katie has been craving guac, so this is what we’re having.” He said it as if he dared anyone to say anything negative about the insanity of having tacos on a Thursday night.

  “I love tacos,” we all said so as not to anger the beast, because he and Katie were stressed with both the baby and the wedding. Katie looked like she hadn’t slept in days and Stryker was irritable and short with everyone.

  “I feel like we should all do some deep breathing and have a group hug,” Simon said. He’d recently joined the yoga club and had been driving us all up the wall with Namaste and Savasana and whatever the hell they did. Some of those insane poses didn’t look relaxing at all.

  “Pass,” the rest of us (except for Brady) said in unison. We seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

  “Fine,” Simon said and he was grumpy for the rest of the night. Everyone seemed to have a case of the surlies and Trish was still freaking out a little.

  There was a lull in the conversation, but it was broken by none other than Trish.

  “I’m bisexual!” she yelled out as she stood up from the couch. Everyone froze, some mid-chew and some just about to bite into their tacos.

  “I thought you weren’t going to do it tonight,” I said, setting down my taco and looking up at her. The blood had drained from her face as she realized what she’d said.

  “Yeah, well,” she said, shrugging. I looked around and no one wanted to be the first one to say anything. That wasn’t exactly a good sign. My eyes rested on Stryker. He cleared his throat, set his plate down and then went to Trish. He stopped just in front of her.

  “I knew. I always knew and it never mattered.” With that, he put his arms around her and then it was like dominoes.

  “Girlfriend, I’m gay, so welcome to the LGBTQIA club!” Simon said, no longer sullen. “You should totally join our alliance! We need more bi people!” Simon was perhaps the most excited about the revelation, but everyone else expressed their love and support.

  It was one big Trish love-fest and it seemed like this was how it was supposed to happen. All at once. That was how Trish did everything else. She wasn’t a cautious person at all and that was one of the things that made her so great. Full throttle. All the way.

  Trish cried again, but she smiled through the tears.

  “I thought you were all going to hate me,” she said. Granted, she hadn’t shared the little bit about Ric, but not everyone needed
to know that. Stryker, yes, but not anyone else.

  “None of us could hate you, you moron,” Lottie said, wiping away tears of her own. “We all love you.”

  Trish searched for me and I reached out my hand to her. She took it and I pulled her under my arm and kissed her temple.

  “I told you so,” I whispered in her ear. She reached up and gave me a titty-twister. I hunched over to protect myself.

  “Ow! Ow! Leave those alone, they’re attached!” She just gave me an innocent look.

  “Whatever. Don’t be smug,” she said.

  “You are so going to get it when we get back,” I said, pointing at her.

  “Okay, okay, enough,” Stryker said. “I don’t need to hear this crap.”

  Trish rounded on him.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? After all the details you told me about your sexcapades?” Stryker blanched and looked at Katie. Her eyes narrowed.

  “What sexcapades?” Katie asked in a low, dangerous voice. Slowly, everyone edged away from her.

  “Why did you that to me?” Stryker said to Trish. She just blew him a kiss.

  “Have fun, big brother.” Katie grabbed his arm and hauled him back into the bedroom. Normally Katie wasn’t super insecure, but I bet the pregnancy hormones were putting her a little out of whack. Or a lot out of whack. There was yelling and that was definitely Katie’s voice.

  “Well, I think I’m going to go referee,” Lottie said, slipping away to go throw Stryker a lifeline. He was probably going to need more than one. A whole rescue team. And maybe another team just in case.

  “You’re terrible,” I said to Trish. She didn’t look guilty at all.

  “Eh, he’s given me shit for years. He’ll get me back and I’ll get him and the world will keep spinning. It’s how we share our love.” I knew it was and it worked for them. I wish my family was like that.

  After the dramatics, we all sat down and finished our tacos. Stryker, Lottie and Katie finally emerged and Stryker looked chastened. Katie was red-faced as if she’d been crying.