For Real Page 16

  “Asshole. So if you’re not going to show me, what are we going to do today?”

  “I have a few ideas. Do you have any ideas?”

  “We should do something fun. Something we wouldn’t normally do. We should also go out somewhere. Less chance that my friends will show up here to track me down. And I’m going to wear my new Batman shirt.” I’d left it here last time.

  “You can absolutely wear your shirt.” He smiles and pauses before he continues. “You sure you don’t want to see them?”

  “No, I absolutely do not.”

  “I get it if you don’t want to forgive them.” Despite mussing my hair a second earlier, he starts smoothing it out again.

  “It’s not really about forgiveness. It’s about them knowing that they can’t treat me that way. Or anyone. No one should have to feel the way they made me feel and I’m pissed that I even let it happen in the first place. I should have put a stop to it a long time ago. But it was gradual and they were my friends. It’s crazy what you let people get away with when you care about them.” Even more than being mad at them, I’m mad at myself. I’ve never thought of myself as a doormat, but I’d been doing it for years and justified it. They treat me that way because I let them.

  Well that shit stops now.

  “I think we should do something bad. Not illegal bad. Just maybe a little against the rules,” I say.

  “Okay then. Rule breaking it is. Come on, get in the shower.”

  “Why, do I stink?” He wrinkles his nose and nods. I have half a mind to stick his face in my armpit, but I don’t.

  When I get out of the shower and dress in the bathroom, I can definitely smell something delicious.

  I open the door and Jett is sitting on the couch with two fast food bags.

  “Breakfast to go. Get ready, princess, time is wasting.” I don’t know how he had time to get dressed, fix his hair and get breakfast all while I was in the shower, but I have the feeling Javier might have had something to do with it. Speaking of him, he’s MIA.

  “Come on, come on,” Jett says, grabbing my hand and the fast food bags and tugging me out the door.

  “We should probably take your car since I know you hate mine.”

  “No, no. We’re living on the edge today. Let’s take yours.”

  “Living on the edge. I like it.” He holds the door open and I get in. Then I peer into the bag. Looks like sausage, egg and cheese croissants, hash browns in one and two cups of coffee in the other.

  “I added the cinnamon and nutmeg,” he says with a smile.

  “Thanks, Fake Boyfriend.” I pull out one of the sandwiches and hand it to him. He sticks it in his mouth as he starts up the car and backs out of the driveway.

  “Okay,” he says after taking a bite out of his sandwich. I munch mine. It’s greasy and fabulous and just what I need. “So I got a lot of ideas for today from movies. So they’re not original, but they are kind of awesome.”

  I take out the coffee cups and put them in the cupholders. They rattle around a little and slop on the floor. Pretty sure Jett doesn’t care. In fact, he hits the gas and starts speeding.

  “This is the first rule we’re breaking. Speeding! Oh shit, a cop.” He slams on the brakes and goes back down to the speed limit.

  “Nice try,” I say as he keeps glancing in the rearview at the cop car. I can’t see it, but he can, so he keeps exactly to the speed limit, even when we get out on the highway. I finish my first sandwich and start on my second. I also keep holding Jett’s sandwich up for him to bite into, because he needs both hands to drive and shift.

  We finish both our breakfasts when he takes an exit off the highway and then we’re driving through a small town. Despite it being so close to the college, I’ve never been here. He keeps looking around as we drive down the main street, all the while muttering to himself.

  “Aha!” he exclaims, yanking the car over onto a side street and then pulling into a parking lot. I look at the brick building next to the lot. A library. Still not picking up what he’s putting down.

  “Come on.” He gets out and waits for me to open my own door. I do and he reaches for my hand, and then we’re running toward the library, up the steps and through the double doors.

  “Slow down!” I have short legs.

  “Can’t slow down.” With that he starts running again, much to the shock of the woman at the desk in the entryway.

  “Sorry!” I call at her as Jett tugs me toward the stairs. We dash up those too and then he stops at the top of a balcony that looks out over the lobby. It’s a beautiful library and reminds me a little bit of Beauty and the Beast. Lots of wood and thick red rugs and lamps.

  “What are we doing here?”

  “We are breaking the rules,” he whispers. “You know how you’re not supposed to yell in a library?”

  “Yeah,” I whisper back.

  “Well, we’re going to break that rule and then we are going to run away.” I look down. It’s early, so there are only a few patrons in the library, and a few on the computers to one side of the room. Other than the woman at the front desk, no one has noticed us looking down at them.

  “Ready?” he says, his eyes bright.

  “What are we going to yell?”

  “How about our safe words?”

  I really, really don’t want to yell that in a library, but what the hell? I’m an uptight person. I know this. Maybe what I need is to loosen up a bit.

  “One,” I whisper.

  “Two,” he continues.

  “Three,” we say together.

  “Perspicacious!”

  “Necrophilia!” As soon as we do it, I have a fit of the giggles and Jett tugs my hand back into the stacks of books.

  “I can’t believe we did that,” I whisper. I hear footsteps on the stairs, and I have the feeling that we’re about to get thrown out. Jett puts his finger to his lips and we duck down behind the stacks as the lady from the front desk starts looking for us. We sneak around her and head for the steps, dashing down as quick as we can and out the door. A few people stare at us, and I wave as we run back to Jett’s car as if we’ve robbed the place. Sure, it’s childish, but sometimes doing something childish is the best.

  We’re both breathing hard as Jett peels out of the parking lot and gets back on the road. And then we both have a fit of the giggles.

  “That was so stupid, Jett.”

  “I know. But I thought we should start out dumb and work our way up to awesome.”

  “Good plan.” My stomach hurts from laughing as Jett starts speeding again to our next destination.

  “I know this is your day, but can I make a suggestion?”

  “You’re not going to want to go back to the library and dance on the balcony, are you?”

  “No, Judd Nelson, that’s not my idea. My idea is to go to a store that sells furniture and hop in one of the beds and take a nap. Come on, it would be hilarious.” His look of skepticism is not encouraging.

  “Okay, we’ll do that, as long as we take pictures of it.”

  We end up taking pictures of ALL of it. Sleeping in the bed at the furniture store, racing carts, prancing around in stupid hats, going to a bookstore and rearranging some of the titles in odd places, buying tickets for one movie and sneaking into another. In addition, we bring in our own lunch, which includes several chicken sandwiches, fries and two sodas. It’s the most fun I’ve had in a longer time than I’d like to think about. We also leave cranes everywhere we go, and take pictures of those as well.

  I don’t worry about my friends or what they’re thinking of me, or my classes, or my family, or anything like that. It’s just Jett and me and we’re young and having fun.

  I realize something else when the two of us are sharing our fries at the movies.

  I care about him. A lot. I’m not sure if you could call it love, but it’s something real close to that. Or at least it’s the closest to love I’ve ever come.

  This is one of those times when you
need a best friend, but I’m on the outs with mine right now, so I keep it to myself as Jett and I drive back to his place. We’re going to stay in tonight and Javi is going to join us for dinner. Jett hasn’t mentioned my friends all day, but I know that I need to at least tell them where I am. Like they don’t know.

  Jett helps me carry the groceries into his apartment and Javier cheers us as we walk in.

  “Well, well, well. The triumphant two have returned. How was your day?” He leans on the back of the couch and wiggles his eyebrows.

  “Well, we robbed a bank, and then we bought some drugs, and then we sold them, and then we stole lollipops from children, and then we stole a few cars and blew them up. We had a full day, didn’t we?” I say to Jett who just gives me a look. Javi laughs.

  “I like you. You can stick around after this little scenario is over. Why don’t you just come clean with your friends? Or whatever they are now. I mean, what’s the point of keeping this up? It’s clear that you two don’t want to be Fake Dating.” What? What is he talking about?

  I look at Jett, but he’s glaring at Javi. I think I’m missing something. Something big.

  “And with that, I’m going to keep my mouth shut,” Javi says, grabbing the grocery bags from Jett and heading for the kitchen. He starts humming loudly and I look at Jett for an explanation.

  “Are you going to explain?”

  “Nope.” His voice is sharp and angry. I’ve only heard that tone a few times before, but I’m feeling feisty after all the rule breaking today, so I’m not letting it go.

  “What is he talking about, Jett? Answer me?” I touch his arm, but he turns away from me.

  “Just drop it, Shannon. Leave. It. Alone. I can’t talk about it with you.” He starts off angry, but then he’s pleading. Just like when I’d ask him about his family and he would beg me not to ask. He wasn’t ready to tell me.

  “Fine. Come find me when you’re ready.” I walk around him and head to the kitchen. The fun part of the day is over and my mood is a little sour now, but that’s not going to stop me from making the most epic nachos ever and then consuming them.

  So that is exactly what I do, with Javi’s help. Jett watches, but he’s quiet and withdrawn. No reaching him now. Javi senses there is tension, so he’s extra “on.”

  “Your friends are blowing up my phone again,” Jett says quietly, showing me the texts. They’re in all caps and quite forceful. I still don’t want to deal with them. I’d said what I wanted to say, and they needed to sit and think about it for a little while. Didn’t they have anything better to do than worry about me?

  I tell Jett to ignore the messages, so he does, and turns his phone off. That’s enough of that.

  The nachos we make are of astronomic proportions. Hot dogs, hamburger, pepperoni, hot sauce, jalapenos, olives, onions, tomatoes, fresh cilantro, chicken, ranch seasoning, black beans, mushrooms and two different kinds of cheese.

  “Those are some insane fucking nachos,” Javi says as we watch the cheese bubble while they’re in the oven. It’s going to take forever to cook with all that crap on it, but we’re patient. Or at least I am.

  “I think I will . . . go to my room for a while so I don’t disturb the cooking process,” Javi says with a look from me to Jett. Subtle.

  As soon as the door shuts, he turns his music on so loud he couldn’t eavesdrop, even if he wanted to.

  “What’s up with you? I know you don’t want me to ask, but I’m going to ask. If you don’t want to do this, then we don’t have to do this. You can say the word right now. End it. Done.”

  Jett licks his lips and grips the counter.

  “I don’t want it to end.”

  “Well, we still have another week or so.”

  “No, I don’t want it to end in a week. I don’t want it to end . . . at all.” The silence at the end of his sentence makes me swallow hard. Words evade me as I think about what he’s just said. I almost want to make him repeat it to make sure I’ve heard him right.

  “Please say something. I didn’t want to tell you, but you backed me into a corner, Shan.”

  “Hold on, I’m thinking. This is unexpected. I didn’t plan for this. I mean, I know I fell for you, but I didn’t think that you would—” I stop. Oops. Didn’t mean to tell him that.

  “You fell for me?” His voice is so quiet that I almost don’t hear it.

  Then the stupid timer dings and it’s like a gunshot. Both of us jump as if we’ve actually been fired at. Robotically, I move away from Jett and to the oven, turning it off and pulling out the nachos. I hear Jett move behind me and his arms are on my shoulders and he’s breathing in my hair . . .

  “Shannon?”

  There’s a frantic knock at the door.

  “Mother fucker,” I say as Javi bursts from his room.

  “Don’t mind me, carry on.” He looks out the peephole and then back at me, his face dropping.

  “It’s Hazel. And the rest of the friendtourage. What do you want me to do?” Jett keeps backing away from me and I can’t think straight from the quick turn of events.

  “We can do this later,” Jett says, backing even further away from me. He’s shutting down again, so even if I tell them go to away, he and I are not going to deal with this right now.

  Hazel pounds again.

  “Come on, Shan. I know you’re in there. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I’m worried about you and I miss you and the girls are here and they feel even more like shit and they’re here to apologize. So tell Javi to let us in.” I sigh, but nod to Javi. Guess my idea of letting them think about what they’ve done for a while was a stupid one.

  He unlocks the door and opens it slowly.

  “I am letting you in because she told me to. If she tells me that she wants you to leave, then you will leave. Understand?” He flexes his muscles just a little bit for good measure.

  “Are you her bouncer now?” Hazel says as she walks in and heads right for me. She tries to put her arms around me, but I step back. The rest of the “friendtourage” shuffles in behind her, looking like they’re being led to the gallows.

  “You left your phone and I’ve been worried sick. I knew you were here and you needed some time, but I couldn’t take it anymore. We need to talk about this. I can’t stand fighting.” And then she bursts into tears. Ugly, sobbing tears. That’s all it takes for me to melt and put my arms around her. Just like last time. I can’t stand to see her getting that emotional.

  “I’m so sorry for treating you that way. You’re right. I take advantage of you, and I was pressuring you and it was wrong and I know that now. I’ll do anything for us to be besties again. You make me a better person. I was such a bitch before I met you.” This makes me laugh a little.

  “I was aware of your bitch status, Haze. And it’s not all your fault. I should have stood up for myself. I should have stood up to all of you when you told me that I had to go out and find a guy. I should have told you all to go screw yourselves.” Javi snorts.

  Hazel sniffs and I use my thumbs to brush her tears away.

  “I’m sorry,” she says again.

  “I know.” I hug her again and I hear more sniffling. They’re all crying now. Javi starts handing out the tissues as, one by one, my friends come and hug me and apologize. This was what I wanted all along. For them to treat me like a human being. Their friend. Not someone who needs TERRIBLE advice. Or interventions on her behalf. I explain all this, and they seem to listen. Really listen.

  “You have to stop treating me like a child. I’m not. I’m your friend and I’m an adult. I love you, but I need to live my own life.”

  They all agree, and there’s more hugging. Javi gives me a round of applause and they all join in and I do a little curtsey. Jett is watching in the back, and I can tell that he’s proud of me, but we still have unfinished business.

  This is one step in the right direction.

  “Now that that’s over, who wants nachos?” Javi asks, and we all raise our ha
nds. I look over my shoulder at Jett and he gives me a little smile and a wink. I wink back at him.

  We need to talk. But first, nachos.

  “I’m going to tell them,” I say to Jett as my friends devour the nachos and Javi tells dirty jokes and passes out drinks. “We might as well come out of the proverbial closet.”

  He just shrugs.

  “That’s all you’ve got to say?”

  “I don’t care if you tell them.” Sometimes I want to strangle him. But I like him too much.

  “Then you’re coming with me.” I grab his hand and drag him out to the living room and stand in front of Javi’s giant television.

  “We have an announcement to make.” I look at Jett and he looks like he’d rather fall through the floor than stand next to me right now. Too bad.

  “Jett and I are not dating. We never were. We made a deal that we would pretend to date so that our FRIENDS would stop pestering us to go out and find someone. So. There you have it. Thank you for your attention.” I do another curtsey and start to drag Jett back to the kitchen, but Hazel blocks my way.

  “You faked it? The whole thing? Why?” My other friends are too shocked to speak.

  “Because you wouldn’t stop pestering me to go to the bar and I didn’t have the balls to tell you to leave me the fuck alone. So rather than confront you, I roped this poor guy into an elaborate scheme with Rules and insanity. I have no idea why he went along with it.” Other than I really, really like Fake Dating Jett.

  I turn to Jett, and for the first time ever, his face is beet red. Crap. I shouldn’t have made him come with me. He didn’t ask for this. I’d just gotten mad at my friends for treating me like crap, and now I am turning around and doing it to Jett. I turn to apologize, but he mumbles something under his breath. I move closer to him as my friends start whispering to each other.

  “What did you say?” He makes a growling sound.

  “Because I liked you! And I wanted to be around you! And now I think I love you!” he yells and the room goes so silent you could hear a mouse sneeze.

  “You think you love me?” I say, touching his shoulder.