Together We Heal Page 13

  Fucking perfect. My wild girl.

  The begging continued in earnest as I drove her to the edge and then reeled her back in. Finally, because I was afraid she was going to yank me bald, I hooked my fingers inside her and flicked her clit with my tongue and she came, her entire body tensing and releasing as she called out, curses and nonsense and I definitely heard my name.

  I let myself feel the pulses as I kept my fingers inside and when the storm calmed, I removed them and licked them clean. I would never get tired of her taste. Even if I lived a thousand years.

  THERE WERE NOT enough curse words in any language to describe what that was. I was pretty sure I used most of them when I came. I had to add another thing to the list of things I really liked about Max.

  His. Tongue.

  What he could do with that thing was nothing short of miraculous. He should be an exhibit in a museum. Scientists should study him.

  My brain was babbling, but I couldn’t make it stop.

  I had never thought an orgasm could even be that powerful, let alone that I would have one. I was pretty sure I’d pulled a muscle. Or several. I was going to be sore tomorrow. Much better than a stupid workout, that was for sure. Plain endorphins had nothing on orgasms.

  “I think I need some time,” I blathered afterwards. Max had left the area he’d taken such good care of and was on his side, his arm propped up and watching me. I was too, whatever, to ask him to stop.

  “That’s okay. Take all the time you need.” Clearly, he was hard, but he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to do something about it. Such a gentleman.

  “I’m so glad you let me do that. Finally.”

  “Finally?” The word sounded funny as I said it. Wow, I was really losing it. Maybe the orgasm had somehow destroyed my brain.

  “Yeah. I’ve wanted to do that for forever.” I didn’t know guys liked it all that much. Huh. Or maybe it was just Max. He was probably special.

  The blood started coming back to my brain and my thoughts slowly returned to normal.

  I turned my head and smiled at him.

  “You should get an award for that,” I said.

  “The knowledge that I did a good job is all the recognition I need,” he said and I smacked him lightly in the chest with my hand. I didn’t have a whole lot of strength left.

  “You know, my first boyfriend would never do that,” I blurted out. Orgasms always loosened my tongue. Like working the cork out of a wine bottle or something.

  “Well, he was both an idiot and an asshole. I want to punch him in the balls on your behalf,” Max said. I was relieved he wasn’t upset about me talking about an ex.

  “How old were you?” he asked as he danced his fingers around on my stomach. My muscles fluttered just a little bit at his touch. It tickled.

  “Uh, I don’t really remember. Too damn young, that’s for sure.” I had been a bit of a wild child and had started getting physical early. Just before everything with my uncle, actually. Afterward, sex was… complicated. Max nodded.

  “Yeah, I was fifteen. I wasn’t even dating her. It was at a stupid party and I’m pretty sure it lasted all of ten seconds. I mean, I barely got the condom on.” He chuckled and I was relieved he was comfortable with talking about this kind of thing.

  “They’re always the hardest to open when you need them the most. I think it’s a conspiracy,” I said and he laughed. This was a first. I had never just stayed in bed with someone and talked. While naked. Usually when I had sex with someone, I couldn’t get out fast enough. And that was when I actually went through with it and didn’t end up crying or something. And that was when I actually was able to go through it. There had been plenty of times when I hadn’t.

  “That would make total sense,” Max said with a serious face. We went from talking about our first times to embarrassing sex stories, some not necessarily ours.

  “I will never get that sound out of my head,” I said when I told him about the girl Stryker brought home once who sounded like a wounded donkey when she came. Weird thing was that she was cute and tiny, but she had the bray of a much bigger girl. Max laughed and told me about the second girl he’d been with. Hearing about those girls didn’t really bother me. A little, but I knew he wasn’t serious about any of them.

  “I always sort of separated sex and dating,” he said and I totally agreed. “Well, until you. I want to do everything with you.”

  I raised my eyebrows.

  “Everything?”

  He gave me a smile and then leaned down and kissed one of my nipples.

  “Everything.”

  IT WAS SO easy to talk about sex with her. At first I wasn’t sure about telling her my history, but she opened up about hers and it didn’t seem weird after that. Neither of us had a good track record anyway. I’d sure had a lot of terrible sex in my life. I’d pretty much given up on it when I came to school.

  And then Trish happened. She blew into my life and changed everything. Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if Ric hadn’t died. Would I still have met her? Maybe. Maybe not.

  I wasn’t saying that I was glad Ric was dead, but I didn’t regret meeting Trish at the funeral. I should really call my aunt more often. She and Ric were on the outs, but Ric was her only daughter and losing her was still terrible.

  “What are you thinking about?” Trish asked. We’d lapsed into silence, each of us thinking about other things. We were also both pretty tired. After I got us going again, she demanded to return the favor and had given me the blow job to end all blow jobs. It was a miracle my dick didn’t take of like a rocket, my balls like little engines.

  “Ric, actually. I really should talk to my aunt more. I was feeling guilty,” I said. At the mention of Ric, Trish stiffened.

  “Oh,” she said, not offering any other comment.

  “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought her up.” Trish wouldn’t meet my eyes and it was as if the room had dropped a few dozen degrees.

  “It’s okay,” she said, but she wasn’t convincing anyone. I searched my mind for something else to talk about that wouldn’t make her sad.

  “Have you picked out your bridesmaid’s dress?” Katie had given the final word that Kayla and Lottie were co-maids of honor and Trish and Audrey were the bridesmaids. Stryker had picked Zan as best man, which was poetic and then Will, Simon and Brady as groomsmen. I wasn’t upset about not being included in the wedding party. I’d get to sit and watch Trish walk down the aisle in a beautiful dress and that was all I could ask for.

  “I’ve looked, but I hate pink, so it’s not going very well. I might see if Lottie can make me a dress. She’s gotten into sewing again and if she made it, it would be a lot cheaper and then I could make it the way I wanted.” That seemed like a good plan.

  “It’s coming up fast,” I said. She rolled her eyes.

  “I know. Katie is roping me and the other girls in to help with making centerpieces and shit. They’re doing it cheap for obvious reasons, but I wish she would just buy some premade stuff and save all of us the hassle.” She was griping, but I could tell she was happy to be included

  “Well, I’m happy to lend a hand if you need it.”

  “Thanks,” she said, closing her eyes and yawning.

  “Tired?”

  “Uh huh,” she said, not opening her eyes. I kissed her forehead and said goodnight. She mumbled it back and then I whispered, “I love you,” in her ear, but only after I was sure she was asleep.

  MAX AND I progressed with our sexual explorations over the next two weeks. The weather started warming up, so we didn’t need to dress in twenty layers just to go to class. My current vehicle crapped out, again, so Stryker got me another one in between working a million hours and trying to take care of his prego fiancée.

  Things were complete chaos and I was definitely looking forward to summer. I would deny it if anyone asked, but I was also really excited about the wedding. Katie was commissioning me to do everyone’s hair and I’d been looking up styles onli
ne. She wanted something classic, so I was going to try a few on myself, Audrey and Lottie and then she could pick which one she liked. Lottie had decided that it was her mission to make all the bridesmaids dresses, so one Saturday at work when our boss Claud wasn’t there, we went through all the fabrics and found three bolts in a barely-there light pink (for me), a medium pink that was close to bubblegum for Lottie and then a darker almost fuchsia for Audrey.

  Katie picked styles and Lottie got to work. She turned part of her apartment into a little sewing corner and Zan, because he was amazing, found a dress form at a discount shop and brought it home for her one night.

  “I’m going to name her… Elizabeth Bennet,” she said and more than a few of us rolled our eyes. Last Halloween, before Katie intervened, Lottie was going to wear a Jane Austen costume to a frat party. Not exactly an appropriate outfit for the situation.

  “Why aren’t you an English major again?” I asked and she put her hand up.

  “I’m not going over this again.” She was majoring in marine biology because that was what her dad did. Not because she was passionate about sediments. Her brother was getting a degree in kinesiology, so I didn’t understand why she couldn’t do what she clearly wanted to. The need to please one’s parents was a foreign concept to me.

  “Fine, fine,” I said, letting it go when she demanded that I stand still as she measured me. That was an exercise in humiliation and I made Max take me home and go down on me to get over it. Twice.

  My life was as good as it had ever been.

  Which meant that it was time for me to get a proverbial punch to the face.

  I GOT A call from Stryker in the middle of the day, which was a little odd. Usually if he needed to get in touch with me, he would just text. Instead, he left me a very serious voicemail and demanded that I call him ASAP. I panicked and decided to skip my next class, which was economics and sucked ass anyway, to call him back. My head went to all sorts of dark and awful places.

  Please let the baby be okay, I thought as I waited for him to pick up.

  “Stryker? What’s wrong? Is Katie okay?” I said before he could get a word in.

  “Yes, Katie and the baby are fine.” I let out a breath of relief so loud a few people walking by me outside on the quad stared. I just gave them dirty looks that said to mind their own business.

  “Then what is it? What happened?” If it wasn’t Katie, what could it possibly be? Stryker took the world’s longest pause before he answered.

  “Ray got arrested.” Ray. Ray. Three letters. One syllable. But it sent a shot of ice through my body and my legs nearly gave out on me.

  I couldn’t say anything, but I could hear Stryker talking.

  “I wanted to tell you in person, but I didn’t want you to somehow find out before I could be the one to tell you.” I still couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t blink. It was a miracle my heart was still beating.

  “Trish!” Stryker said it over and over, but I couldn’t say anything back.

  “Fuck! Answer me! Where are you?!” he yelled, but I couldn’t answer.

  “Trish?” a voice said behind me. I didn’t acknowledge it. “Trish?” Audrey’s hand brushed my shoulder and she stepped into my line of vision.

  “Oh my God, are you okay? You’re so pale.” Her eyes were worried, but I just couldn’t talk. So I shook my head slowly. Audrey heard Stryker yelling at me through the phone so she took it out of my rigid hand.

  “Stryker? Yeah, it’s Aud… I don’t know, I was just going to class… Uh huh… No…. Okay…. Okay, I will… Don’t even worry about it… I’ve got this… Uh huh… Okay, bye.” She ended the call and put her hand on my arm.

  “Trish? Trish, can you do me a favor and look at me?” I swung my eyes toward her face and the worry in her eyes scared me further still. I didn’t know what was happening. I just couldn’t move or think or do anything.

  “Hey, Trish, we’re going to get you to your brother’s, okay? Come on,” she said, tugging at my arm to get me walking. It worked and I stumbled along beside her. We made our way to the student parking lot and she unlocked Will’s truck, but that was my only thought as she shoved me into the passenger seat, hopped in and then we were off.

  THE MINUTE THE truck stopped outside my brother’s apartment, my door was yanked open and I was picked up into strong arms.

  Stryker.

  “I’ve got it from here, Aud.”

  “Hell no, I’m coming with you. She’s my friend too and it’s my turn to be there for her.” I dimly remembered Audrey panicking just like I was now, when she’d gotten the call that Emily was sick. I’d joked about her being broken. I felt broken. Maybe this was it. I’d only been walking around somewhat damaged until now and this was the final blow that wrecked me forever.

  I was placed on the couch and glasses of water were pressed to my lips and two voices were talking to me.

  “What happened?” Audrey kept saying. Stryker just told her I’d gotten some shocking news that he probably should have prepared me better to receive. Yeah, probably.

  I closed my eyes; I just wanted to sleep, but they wouldn’t let me.

  They tried everything from water and food to pinching my feet and putting on loud music.

  “Do you think we should call Max?” Audrey asked Stryker as they peered over me.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never seen her like this. I’m at a fucking loss with what to do besides putting her in the shower and turning on the cold water.” Audrey looked at him and then chewed her lip.

  “It’s worth a try.” So they put me in the bathroom and turned on the cold water.

  It worked. I sputtered and shivered and curses started pouring from my mouth.

  “Welcome back,” Stryker said, pulling me out and wrapping me in a dozen towels before carrying me back to the couch and sitting me up.

  “Oh thank God,” Audrey said when she saw I was lucid again.

  “I hate both of you,” I said through chattering teeth. Aud pressed a cup of hot tea into my hands and I burned my tongue on the first sip.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Audrey asked in a soft voice. I shook my head.

  “No. Definitely not. Let’s just say I got a blast from the past that I wasn’t prepared for,” I said, meeting Stryker’s eyes. He nodded, his face solemn. We had a lot to talk about.

  She stood there, as if she wanted to ask more, but wasn’t sure if she should.

  “Is there anything I can get you? Anything you need?” she said. It was clear she wanted to stay and be helpful.

  “No, but thank you. Seriously, Aud. You’re one in a million,” I said, giving her the best smile I could pull out. That made her relax a little and she had a quick conversation with Stryker before leaving.

  Stryker sat down next to me and propped his arms on his knees.

  “So,” he said, clapping his hands together.

  “So,” I echoed, shivering under my towels.

  I USUALLY GOT a text from Trish letting me know what our plans were for the night, but I hadn’t heard from her all day.

  She was probably just busy, but I got a little worried when I got back to my room and she wasn’t there. I didn’t have a key, so I was pretty much locked out. I texted her immediately, asking if I could pick up my key so I could change before work.

  No answer.

  The first trickle of fear dripped down my spine. It was probably nothing. I was making a lot out of nothing. I texted her brother, asking if he’d seen her.

  Nothing.

  I texted everyone else who might have seen her.

  No answers. No Trish.

  My heart was pounding a frantic rhythm and I just wanted someone to answer my fucking text and tell me that she’d stayed late at a study group or had gone shopping or some shit. I didn’t care where she was, as long as she was okay.

  I was being dramatic, but I couldn’t help it. I loved her.

  I NEEDED A motherfucking car. I really did. I was going to start putting money asi
de for one starting now. It didn’t even have to be a good car. Any car that would drive me around so I could find my girlfriend would work.

  After not getting any answers, I started walking toward Will’s dorm. He was the only friend within walking distance who also had a vehicle and knew Trish.

  My phone rang and I almost threw it onto the sidewalk in my hurry to answer it.

  “Trish? Hello?”

  “Nope, it’s Stryker. I just got your text. She’s here with me.” His voice was cold and emotionless. What the fuck was going on?

  “Is she okay? What happened?” If nothing had happened and she wasn’t in danger then he wouldn’t have said it that way.

  “It’s…” I could hear him walking into another room. I strained to hear Trish’s voice, but nothing.

  “Look, it’s complicated and it has to do with the shit she doesn’t like to talk about,” he said in a low voice. A door shut and he sighed.

  “About her past? Is it her uncle? She told me a little bit about that.” The quick inhale was all I needed as an answer.

  “I didn’t know she’d told you. She doesn’t tell anyone that,” he said, his voice now filled with shock. “Huh.” Was he serious?

  “Can I talk to her please?” I said, cursing myself some more for not having a car.

  “Um, hold on.” He covered the phone and I heard muffled talking, like the sound of the adult voices in a Charlie Brown cartoon. I could just barely hear what I hoped was Trish answering him. Then the phone was passed over and I heard her voice. It made me want to fucking cry.

  “Oh, hun,” I said, my voice breaking a little. “Are you okay? Do you need me to come?” I’d find a damn ride somehow. I’d carjack someone if she said she needed me.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. Or okayish. I just… I kind of freaked out for a little there. Stryker shoved me in the shower and turned the cold water on. Asshole.” Good. If she was cursing her brother then it couldn’t be that bad. My wild girl.